the secret world of a medic

Today was just another day at the hospital.
It started off with a 4 hour ward round in the morning, tagging behind Mr Big Boss (the GI Consultant, who also happens to be my clinical supervisor) with his minions (registrar and junior doctors). And me, the medical student (the only female thorn among the roses), a non-existent unquestioning space-occupying lesion.

Full carbohydrate breakfast with stimulating caffeine tea. Check
Broad comfortable smart stylish pumps. Check
Student matriculation card for identification. Check
Long hair pinned up with sleeves rolled up. Check
Stethoscope and spare drug-company pen (in case Big boss wants to borrow one and never return). Check

So I was off to go. Or rather, follow. Big boss lead the pack, trailing the corridors recognizably in his long starch-white doctor's coat. (It was interesting to note that most of the other consultants did'nt bother wearing one). The junior doctor briefly flashed the in-patient list in front of me just as we headed towards our first patient.
''Just so you know, its gonna be a long ward round...'' he smirked with a cheeky glee in his eyes.

36 year old female with known Alcoholic Liver disease, past medical history of Epilepsy Bulimia Oesophagitis and drinking problems. Hmm....a somewhat typical patient you would find in a GI ward.
Formal greeting. Short questions and a quick probe around the tummy. She needs to quit her heavy drinking....ahhh! Big boss reached his conclusion, the Reg scribbed down notes on the file and the Junior doctor signed some blood forms. I smiled, standing in a corner, cluelessly untuned to the buzz that was happening around me.

Next patient.
Another patient with known Alcoholic Liver disease, this time with Hematemesis (vomitting blood). The same procedure followed, firing questions quick probing before walking out the door. The 3rd patient was admitted with decompensated Alcoholic Liver disease as well, but this time with Ascites. What a huge tummy. Reckon a paracentesis could get her down to a size 2?

Alcohol
Alcohol
Alcohol.
It was'nt too surprising for a Gastroenterology ward. I predicted at least 20 out of the 40 patients we were going to see had to have some problems with their drinking.

Man....why do people drink so much if they knew how much it screws up their liver!?

Monotony continued for eternity. Minutes and seconds ticked by as we throttled up and down the floors, from bed to bed, patient to next patient. Tired....getting tired here......I kept slipping my feet in and out of shoes to keep myself awake. And tiptoeing when no-one was looking. (Its an odd habit of mine). My concentration was waning and my soles were starting to feel sore from the effects of prolonged standing. It was getting more frustrating and exhausting, whipping from one case to another without any explanation about the patient, why they came in and what was being done about them. I felt dumb and dumber as Big boss's words floated across my ears.

Ward rounds are sooo boring and useless...zzzzzzz
No no no Ward rounds are good for you.
But there are is no hot Dr House around.......did I mention the hospital walls are so grey?
Focus dude Focus......hot doctors are only what you see on television.
So this is reality? A typical day in the life of the future (working within the public sector of course) with ward marathons that drag forever, doctors running like dogs to constantly check on patients and scrutinize them for any changes in their physical health before discharging them as safe-to-go. Sigh, I thought medicine was glamorous and more exciting like in ER.
That was because you were young. And impressionable.
But life could seriously be abit more interesting than seeing lots of COPDs Diabetes ACDs and ALDs
C'mon man, medicine IS fun. Just psyche yourself and say its totally educational and enriching!!
*half-convinced reluctant grumble

I made a mental note of names of the few patients that interested me. Maybe with a little more inspiration and motivation, I would head back to this dull and lifeless ward to clerk their histories and examine their abdomens in my spare time. Fortunately, lunch hour came. Heads turned as the clock struck 1pm and the growling stomachs around me chorussed in unison. Big boss dismissed the team as they rounded up the last patient.
''Wanna come for the FY1 teaching on radiology? There's free lunch available,'' a timely invitation came from one of the Junior doctors. I chirped a loud reply, OKAY!

Seriously, who could refuse free lunch? Especially poor underprivileged students like moi ;)

Then the great afternoon slump. Having had my fill from the sumptuous feast of chicken, pasta, sandwiches and salad kindly sponsored (*cough cough) from a random drug company, I started to feel the sopoforic effects of having a post-prandial glucose spike in my blood. No doors were open so that meant I couldn't make a speedy escape. Darn.
A conspicuously-placed poster on the wall indicated that there was a complimentary guest-lecture following the free lunch. Which meant that I had to go. Did I have a choice? People were starting to file into the room. Nonetheless, I followed suit, knowing that this was an obligatory consequence that free-loaders had to pay after stuffing their faces from the ''free'' lunch spread. Some professor of some research company....droning on about the latest Beta-blockers and pretending to be all excited about it. Yawn. I tried hard to disguise my head jerks that would usually preceed a quick doze.

Stay awake Michelle....at least look interested....or think about your elective plans during summer!

30 minutes snailed by before the lecturer concluded the results of a research trial. Then, my innate sense of kiasu-ism got hold of me as I approached the table near the exit.
Time to collect more note-pads and free pens from the drug rep. And a brand new Tourniquet!

I dragged myself up to the wards, tagging along the ever-so-friendly junior doctor and I'm starting to have second thoughts about staying back in the library to read more about lymphomas, something which I knew nuts about and was gonna get pimped on during tomorrow's Hematology tutorial.
When suddenly, my JD Scrubs moment came, a lightning image of Sir William Osler flashed before my eyes. This was one of the world's greatest and most beloved physician in the annals of medical history and he said this famous quote:

He who studies medicine without books sails an uncharted sea, but he who studies medicine without patients does not go to sea at all.

And it worked! I am such a GEEK.
Ok, so Sir William Osler may not be your hot doctor McDreamy from Grey's Anatomy with his feathery mustache and serious brooding pose, but what he says really does makes sense. So I took his advice anyway, spending the next few hours talking to patients I had previously seen on the morning ward round, chasing after Junior doctors to let me do bloods (can't believe I flunked my first 2 attempts with the Venflon!) and even managed to catch a few procedures in action, a Paracentesis and a Pleural Tap. A worthy sacrifice for staying I must say :)

The day came to an end...I was SHACKED, worn out and brain dead, ready to sit down on my arse and stare into a distant nothingness of anti-medicine. But there was so still much reading up to do and I felt like an incompetent but curiously hungry idiote. The rest of my night was spent sitting in front of the computer at the hospital library, blogging away on the internet while reading up on diseases in between intermittent periods of distraction. Quite exciting eh? :P

So for all you curious non-medics out there, this a glimpse into the REAL life of a clinical student (with added bonus commentary for intended humour). There are times when I wished for more adrenalin-pumping heart-racing life-saving drama. But sadly, reality only starts to sink in when you realize most of the work on the wards compromise of mundane tasks and routine paper work. So don't be too disappointed when you see a large influx of patients presenting with normal predictable signs and symptoms (especially if you're a House fan).

Thats why Surgery is more exciting!

Thankfully I'm not hating my life yet